As crowded as it gets the lonelier I feel. the whole in my heart keeps getting bigger, darker.. lonelier. and I get distracted easily. while my mind can get so busy. I pretend that I’m okay. I’m not okay. I’m human who has bad dark thoughts. a lot of them.
what happened to the girl who never cared. the girl who made people happy. no one can get me out of here. and sometimes it feels like I want to be stuck here.
I have the strong feeling that I have two people fighting inside of me. arguing like little kids. and I wish I can feel like a kid. not having to care about all that. not having to go through all this. when I do something wrong I blame my other half. the person inside of me for giving me the idea when she runs to the corner, sit there and cry like a little kid who lost their teddy bear. I run after her, held her up and hold her as strong as I can and tell her that everything is going to be okay while we drown in tears.
I thought distance and death are the worst thing in life, turn out, I was wrong.